World's Fastest Guacamole Challenge

I will always remember the note from a customer, ordering her Mexican feast for a party. She wanted beans, rice, taquitos and "walk-o-molly" --- I couldn't stop laughing, my boss lady sent me to the back of the kitchen. Is that the Irish version of a fiesta? The customer was right, if you want to have a successful party, you gotta serve guacamole (correctly pronounced walk-a-MOE-leh) and with all the upcoming festivities for Cinco De Mayo, you want a good guac for your guests. La Vida Dulce offers two quick and easy guacamoles. For those of you who prefer the traditional method, we have from far across the Atlantic, the Hairy Bikers' Guacamole, and for the rest of us, the World's Fastest Guacamole. Amaze your family and friends with TWO guacs, and challenge them to choose which one they like best. And forget about leaving in the pit. Just squeeze a bit of lime juice to prevent excess discoloration. Our favorite tortilla chips come from Super A Market in the greater L.A. area, freshly made on site, and only $1.99 for a humongous bag in either plain or spicy hot. Andale walk-o-molly!

Hairy Bikers' Guacamole - adapted from BBC UK

4 jalapenos, seeded and ribs de-veined *see note
1 cup cilantro, chopped
2 tomatoes, finely chopped
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 white onion, finely chopped
1-2 tbsp. water
1 medium lime, juice only
3 ripe Haas avocados, diced

Method

1. In a molcajete or mortar & pestle, pound the chiles, cilantro, tomatoes, and onion to a fine paste. You can also use a food processor and gently pulse a couple of times. Pour into serving dish.
2. Add a little water and lime juice to thin. Mash in the avocados. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve with tortilla chips. Go easy on the salt in the guac if the chips are salty.

*Note: the heat of the chile is in the ribs, not so much in the seeds, so if you want more kick, leave it all in. Otherwise, remove the seeds and ribs. Wash your hands thoroughly after handling any kind of chile, do not touch anything or it will burn like the dickens. Wear gloves if you must, but wash all utensils and cutting boards as well.

La Vida Dulce World's Fastest Guacamole
One container at least 8 -10 ounces of your favorite fresh OR jar salsa from the supermarket
Three large Haas avocados, slightly mashed
Juice of one lime
Kosher salt and ground black pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients in bowl, add more salsa if desired, adjust seasoning and serve with Super A tortilla chips!