Take Home Chef

There I was. Minding my own business, channel surfing, waiting for the next Food TV show, and I found him---TAKE HOME CHEF! I normally don’t watch the TLC channel, but while scrolling down the guide there was a show called, “Take Home Chef” and I had to check it out. OH MY GOSH! He’s got the sexy Aussie accent. That’s usually enough to get my interest. But wait there’s lots more. He’s tall, as in gorgeous hunk of manhood tall. He’s got the surfer dude blond spikey hair thing, but not scary tweaker looking hair, the Take Home Chef is definitely styled by a professional. He looks into the camera with those smoky bedroom eyes. Ay yay yay, dios mio! AND HE CAN COOK! Ladies, what more could we ask? Well, how about this scenario for starters. He wanders into a local grocery store, like Bristol Farms, Whole Foods, the Gelson’s, Wild Oats, with a camera and sound crew. Then he scouts out unsuspecting shoppers and chooses one to ask if they can TAKE HIM HOME to cook dinner tonight, whether it’s for family or for the significant other. And get this, he also plans the menu and pays for all the food in the shopping cart! They hop into the car together, and the entire crew follows along. Then, on the way home he stops by a fancy kitchen boutique, and selects an appropriate gift for the lucky lady. Wow! Back at home he gives a short cooking class on the menu and shows her how to prep the meal. They hurry to get everything done before the husband gets home for the big surprise, or as they say in reality TV, the big reveal. I’ve yet to see any of them get really disturbed to find their mate in the kitchen with a big sexy burrito of Aussie maleness, and an entire TV crew. Hey, these are manly Southern California men, obviously secure in their own relationships and accustomed to cameras, lights, and sound equipment in their homes. My big question is, do you think the TAKE HOME CHEF will be looking for shoppers at El Superior or Super A or other ethnic stores in the hood? Would he follow me around at my local tortilleria or the 99 Ranch Market? Nah, I don’t think so. But just in case, I’m not leaving the house without my lipstick. Oh, TAKE HOME CHEF, take me!